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Hedgehog
NOTE: LPC's voice does not appear on this track, there are sound effects which are presumably him, and those are noted below. The siren sounds may be LPC, or might just be background noise, I'm not sure. *** Hello, Mullen Books. Yeah, I just, I have one copy new in paperback, it’s a 15 dollar paperback. But that’s all. Oh, okay. Ummm ‘All About Hedge Funds’, it’s called? Uhh, excuse me, no. Maybe I’m still misunderstanding. So, the book I have is ‘The Elegance Of The Hedgehog’. Now did you say ‘hedge fund’? Yeah. Oh, well then we’re talking about something totally different. It’s not, not a book I have. Oh (laughs). I don’t have anything about hedge funds. Okay. Okay, we were just speaking a minute ago, I think, and then a woman got on the line, and then I got confused. I thought she was saying she was looking for a book with ‘hedge fund’ in the title. I don’t think there’s a book by that title. Well, wait a minute. Who are you? I’m sorry, you called Bird and Beckett Books. No, I didn’t call. Well somebody’s on the phone with me, so it was you that’s just called...before. I, I, you called me sir, I didn’t call you. Uh, no I just picked up the phone when it rang. So, there’s some confusion. I’mmm guessing you’re not the person that was looking for the hedgehog books? Noooo, I’m sorry. Ummm hmmm. Alrighty. Yeah. Yeah, you want to give me a call when you have more info? Uhh, I, I who, who is this? I was looking for a book, ‘Elegance Of The Hedgehog’. Oh, that’s very strange, somebody was just asking me for a book about ‘leapfrog’. That is extremely strange. (Laughs). What just happened? I don’t know what happened. (talking over each other). Yeah, well he was like ‘there’s a book, it’s called ‘How To Play Leapfrog’, and it’s big and it’s yellow and it’s in the back of your store.’ I’m like ‘No, it’s not.’ (Laughs). Yeah, uh this, this guy called me and said he’s looking for some, something ‘hedgehog’... That’s so weird. Okay, well maybe if that guy gives you a call back, you can sell him that book, ‘cause he was not happy with me. (Laughs). Oh no, yeah. Yeah. Leapfrog, I don’t know, he was asking for a leapfrog book. Hedge, hedge, can you tell me what it’s about? ‘The Eggnog Book’? Hello, eggnog? Yeah, I just had somebody ask me for an eggnog book. Ahhh, no, I don’t have an eggnog. I thought he’d asked for hedgehog. (Laughs). Okay, did you call previously asking about the hedgehog? No, this, no, this is Faulkner House Books. (Freight train sound effects begin). Okay. God, these phones are getting crossed somehow that’s really bizarre. Okay, yeah. (Laughs). Um, and so, sounds like a train is coming through my phone. Hello? (SFX stop). There’s another one, ‘How To Hug A Hedgehog’. That is lesbian fiction. Okay, um, our lines are getting crossed. Uh, is this Garden District Bookshop? Hello? No. Hello? Yeah, this is Octavia Books and someone called and then all of a sudden, I started hearing you mentioning ‘the hedgehog’, and, um, this is the second time this has happened with our lines being crossed with somebody. Who, uh, which bookstore am I speaking with right now? That is so bizarre. Book Woman. Oh, where are you all located? Um, we are at North Lamar. (Freight train SFX start) Okay, weird. Well I’m gonna have to let our owner know. North Lamar? It sounds like I hear train, the train out there. Okay, I’m gonna have to let our owner know about that, because this is the second time this has happened. And so what’s the name of your store, again? The name? Book Woman. Book Woman, okay, on North Lamar. Okay. Hmm, interesting.Okay, no, yeah, this is Octavia Books, uptown. Yeah, I’m gonna have to let our owner know, because this is the second time our lines got crossed, so I’m gonna let him know what’s going on. Okay, yeah. Yeah, I’m gonna alert him right now. Okay. Okay. I’m really sorry, I haven’t been able to find ‘Hedgehog Book’. Who are you talking...Uh, wait...Hello? Uh, yes. I was looking for your friend… Hello? Yes, your friend was looking for other copies we might have of a book that you bought here. Is that right? Uh, yeah, but it doesn’t sound like a familiar title to me. Is this a different guy? Uhhh, he was asking me for...He was asking me for ‘The Hedgehog Book’. Okay, this is a mystery bookstore. We are not a mystery bookshop. The shop I think you’re looking for is Aunt Agatha's. This is Aunt Agatha’s. That’s your mystery...That’s your mystery bookshop. Yes, we’re the mystery bookstore. (Wind SFX briefly play) Right. Great to talk to you about your bookshop, good luck today. I was just talking to somebody else. A minute ago… Oh, no, you were talking to me. Okay, interesting, okay. Were you looking for the book ‘The Hedgehog’? I have no idea what you’re talking about. This is so weird, did you just have a guy ask you...Oh this is bizarre. It was a man who was just really brusque and annoying. Hello? Hello. Hi? Hello? (Chuckles) Yeah, Umm, I looked up the title of the eggnog, and I don’t see anything popping up. And I couldn’t find anything. (Sirens heard in background) Yeah, I don’t know, we, we don’t have anything called ‘All About Leapfrog’. Leapfrog? Yeah. I, I don’t have anything coming up with ‘leapfrog’. Uh, he said ‘eggnog’. Egg-nog? You called about hedge fund? No, I didn’t call you. Okay, uh… I, I, I work at a hardware store, he called me asking for hedge clippings, and then all of a sudden you came on the line, so… Hedge...guy must be crazy, that’s all I gotta say. He called here asking for a book on hedge funds. (Laughs). I don’t know what to say. Hello? I’m sorry, but I don’t have a ‘Warthog Magazine’. Who are you calling? This is Louie Brothers Bookstore. You guys keep calling here. Oh my God, I, I don’t know. I just answer the call. I got a phone call, I just pick up the phone… Yeah, somebody calling, and they keep calling. Hello?? Sir, I, I don’t have a book called ‘The Eggnog Book’, I’m telling you. I’ve got a ‘All About The Hedgehog’ title. That’s the book you’re looking for? That’s what he’s looking for? So he is looking for the hedgehog? I don’t know if he is or not. Are you there? I’m here. Yeah, he said he was looking for ‘All About Eggnog’, I thought, is what he told me. (Laughs). Are you kidding? Ah, that’s beautiful. (Laughter) Do you have any more clue than I do? No. He told me that he was waiting for a bus, he had no more change, and he was phoning from a pay phone. So… And, and I can only hope that your bookstore is in the antipodes. Are you in like, New Zealand or something? No. I’m in Texas. Okay. Well, so am I, in Houston. (High pitched laughing/screaming SFX start) (Laughter) Alright, well… Someone had called me and asked me if we had the book ‘I Am The Warthog’. Okay, this person asked for ‘I Am The Leapfrog’. This is getting weird. (Laughs). (Laugh SFX continue). (Laughs). Um, okay, and you said it was about eggnog? Right? I’ve been hearing it’s about a yule log? I’m sorry, what? Is it about a yule log, or eggnog? Are you talking to me, or are you talking to your friend? (Strange SFX begin, continue to end of track). To you. And you think it might be a yule log, not an eggnog? I, I’m not certain. I hear eggnog from you, I’m not certain what it really is. (SFX) This is the strangest interference ever. It is, isn’t it. Yeah. (SFX) Oh, goodness me. Okay, I am back. I’m back in the back. Now where did you think we had ‘em? In the fantasy? Oh, you’re talking to a different person. I don’t understand what’s going on. Who, who are you? Are you at a payphone? No, this is a different bookstore. Well, I don’t want the book. You’re confused. I understand, I understand. Yeah, he said it was a yellow book, and he thinks it’s called ‘Welcome To The Warthogs’. (Bird SFX) Are you, are you hearing the chirping in the line, like I am? Yeah, I am, it’s kind of confusing. It sounds like we’re in some bird museum. I mean it’s ridiculous. Yeah. So, that’s really weird. So, I’m totally perplexed here on this one. We’re gonna have to just let it go. (End of track) Category:Audio juggling Category:Do you have...